What this week has taught me is this:
Life is precious. It changes in a moment, it ends and it can give you lemons that are great for lemonade but the juice is still going to sting your eye a bit.
A lot of big things have happened over the past few weeks which have seriously shifted my life perspective. Two of them made my heart hurt and I will talk about them when I am ready. The other one is very exciting. As much as I want to rant and rave and cry about the other two things, we’re going to focus on the exciting part for now; the first utterance of the third part of the blog title, SEVEN LEAGUE BOOTS.
NEWSFLASH: I am moving to Indonesia at the end of August.
I know right. It’s ok, just breathe!
I had an interview via Skype on Friday. Note to all those with recent piercings – check whether the interview is going to be a video call, or not, before removing your jewellery. My nose still hasn’t forgiven me; it’s painful enough to make me feel dizzy if I snag it on something. If I needed pinching to convince myself that the interview and the job offer were real, my nose is doing a very fine job!
At first I was ridiculously excited. Me, the adventurous me, was finally going on a decent sized adventure! A whole year in another country with mosquitoes and volcanoes and lorises and nasi goreng! Then, a brick dropped in my stomach and I felt unbelievably sick. I started having palpitations; my life was expanding into a new future but my current existence seemed to be disappearing into a black hole at a terrifying rate. It felt like Flubber bouncing around with excitement but destroying things. Suddenly, my life in Oxford had a 5 week expiry date on it. I could see my job disappearing off a precipice where I had previously felt it may never end (it was a temporary contract but time moves slowly in that place… so… slowly…).
The first thing I will advise about putting on seven-league boots is:
CHOOSE THEM WISELY – I got a pair of Red or Dead boots 3 weeks ago and the heels are splitting already – just because they look piratey, doesn’t mean they will serve you as well as Jack Sparrow’s sexy footwear! Turns out Toms are a far better option for me, but this blog isn’t supposed to be about shoes…
The second thing I will advise:
Travelling life, like a new pair of shoes, can hurt and needs breaking in. I’m mostly drawing this from my friend’s experience. My last experience of moving abroad was when I was 8 and I barely remember most of it! It is ok for it to hurt and it is ok to feel a little overwhelmed by the sudden crowding in your life of things you will miss. Seriously, you never know what you have until it threatens to leave. I am going to miss my goshdarned stripy tea towels! (I’m informed I won’t need them in Indonesia).
I’m sad that I will soon be leaving my dance classes, my theatre and gallery work, and my climbing, but I have to remember that this new chapter is going to grow me in ways that those things can’t and that they will always be here when I get back. What really kills is that I’m actually losing my flat… “flat”. It’s actually a single bedroom with a kitchen bar in it. This tiny room has been a refuge for me during all the heartache and growing pains of the past year and, my god, there have been so many of them! Here I always felt safe because I could just lock myself away and cry it out, battle the demons and know that I would be ok, no matter what. It’s taught me to fend for myself. I had to learn how to open my own stiff bottles and jars here! Life skills! Oxford feels like the place where I, as in who I am today, grew up. I am so different from the day I first set foot at university!
Bottom line, states of flux are terrifying and I am feeling a lot sadder than I expected but is it going to be worth it? HELL YES!
Wish me luck!